Do not feed the fish. New York may be about to fall in line with a growing number of other US states after Senator Jeff Klein tabled bill no 6205 to prohibit ‘the use of live fish in any manner in any pedicure procedure’. Fish pedicures, whereby small garra rufa carp gently nibble dead skin from the patron’s immersed feet, are popular in Asia but it seems that people in other parts of the world may be squeamish at the prospect. The issue is health: while the fish tank and foot bath can be sanitised, the carp themselves cannot, unless they’re subjected to implement cleaning procedures, standard in the cosmetic industry, that would be well and truly fatal. The bill prescribes escalating penalties for the use of fish for foot pedicures, although it has been observed that New Yorkers
would remain free to use fish to tend to other body parts, or indeed to attempt to use other gnawing animals on their feet.

Do not kill the fish. A man in Portland, Oregon has been given two years probation, 80 hours community service and been ordered to undergo psychological evaluation after he impaled his ex-girlfriend’s pet fish in a fit of rejection-induced rage. Donald Earl Fite III, aged 27, stabbed DeLorean, a brilliant purple betta, and left the deceased pinned to the kitchen floor after Sarah Harris refused to resume their relationship. ‘I started crying hysterically,’ said Harris. ‘Donald bought the fish for me, and I’m sure he knew how much I cared for it.’ Fite admitted the act to police, saying: ‘If she can’t have me, then she can’t have the fish.’ His attorney later stated in court that Fite was ‘absolutely mortified and ashamed about what he did to the fish’. Guilty pleas were entered for first-degree animal abuse and fourth-degree domestic violence assault. Harris requested restitution to pay for a memorial tattoo of the fish, but Judge Eric Bergstrom declined to order Fite to pay for the tattoo. The judge also declined to ban Fite from having future contact with fish, saying the stabbing was probably a one-time incident.

Do not steal the fish? The oddl y -named Spiral Lightninghawk, aged 33, was picked up by police in St Paul after they received a security call reporting a theft from a K-Mart. The incident report notes that Lightninghawk had been observed selecting fishnet stockings, women’s underwear and a couple of DVDs from the shelves and then taking the items into the men’s dressing rooms. He later emerged emptyhanded and proceeded to saunter out of the store without paying for anything. The DVDs were clearly visible under his shirt; as for the underthings, those he was wearing beneath his pants. ‘He indicated he was trying to develop his Halloween costume, but didn’t have the money to buy the items,’ said police spokesman Sergeant Paul Schnell. When asked what the felon’s costume plans were, Schnell replied: ‘I have no idea.’